Competition in marriage | Chidi and Victor Akunna

Team spirit says we are better together; whoever wins, wins for us.

Marital competition is usually the result of insecurity. Feeling like you should be earning more than your spouse may mean that you are insecure about your financial contributions to the marriage. This kind of spirit should not be allowed in marriage.

All we own is for US. It should not matter who earns more, no one has extra benefit because they earn more. We support each other.

Some spouses even compete for the attention of their children, wanting one child to prefer you over the other parent. To achieve that, some over-indulge the child. This is sad and models a toxic state to the children.

Spouses must aim to present a united front at all times to whomever, children inclusive. We are a team, what one parent says, the other stands for.

Why do you feel uncomfortable when your spouse earns more?

Why do you want to win the attention and love of your children at all cost?

Why do you feel threatened when your spouse is preferred?

Competition should not be allowed in your marriage.

It causes strife.

It brings about envy.

It is terrible for your marriage.

You may want to check out ‘The Estranged Spouse: 5 Ways you may be pushing your spouse away‘.

It is a video on our YouTube channel, Foundation for Family Affairs.

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About the Author

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Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books. They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe. Feel free to enjoy the resources available here!

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