Our wedding day was one of our happiest days and it keeps getting better. I remember listening to the very interesting sermon and being wowed by the depth and articulate capability of the preacher, but it seemed a long message, lol. I had been given the ‘licence’, so needed to ‘drive’. Like any young boy waiting to put on his Christmas wear, I was excited and impatient at the same time.
Getting into marriage taught me a number of lessons. I learnt that women are completely different from guys, and many things impact on their willingness and availability for sex. For instance, if a woman is not happy about a pending issue at work, with the children or with you, sex may be affected. If she is really nice, she would give in out of obligation to fulfil her wifely duties, but every exceptional husband would want a happy wife because beyond caring for her, sex is incredibly different when she is happy. A woman’s emotions are connected to many parts of her life.
Another lesson I learnt was that satisfying your wife should be your priority because it often takes women longer than men to be satisfied. Hence as a man, jumping ‘in and out’ at will is a selfish way to approach things.
On the other hand, women should know that how they present ‘NO’ to their husbands is critical, it can be interpreted as rejection. I often suggest to fellow women, when you say NO, say it respectfully and with some consideration. If possible, state a specific time you think would be convenient.
We focus on exploring what makes the other happy, rather than fulfilling our desires, we don’t assume we have the same interests. Treat your spouse like the king/queen that he/she is!
Chidi & Victor Akunna
Romance & Intimacy Catalysts
Foundation for Family Affairs
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