You said you forgave me, yet you recall every little detail.
Relationship and marriage involve high level interactions between people – people with different models of the world, different perspectives of what is right and wrong, what is worthy of pursuit (dreams and goals), different values and beliefs, etc.. These differences play vital roles whenever we interact with one another. Hence, we sometimes hurt our spouses and friends unintentionally.
Sometimes, we try to protect ourselves from being hurt by minimising and guarding our interactions with people as much as we can, only to discover that the same strategy that keeps the ‘bad’ people out also keeps the good ones out. Nobody can be an “island”, life is about relationships. What we should learn is how to deal with difficult relationships and situations.
Being hurt may be accidental, but forgiving the hurt is a choice. We choose when to forgive. Some people forgive immediately, others take longer, while some others give advance forgiveness. They understand that unforgiveness – holding a grudge against your spouse – is like drinking a poisonous substance and expecting your spouse to suffer harm.
Have you forgiven your spouse? Have you forgiven that uncle that abused you as a vulnerable child? Do you bring up the issue again and again during an argument? Marriage forces us to make adjustments in order to grow emotionally, socially and spiritually.
ACTION POINT: Forgiving does not justify what was done to you, but it sets you free from that painful experience. Ask God to help you today, He is willing!
Chidi & Victor Akunna
Romance and Intimacy Catalysts
Photo Credit: The Kabbalah Centre
Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books.
Taking your marital experience to the next level
Romance is one word that means different things to different people? However, one thing is sure, it involves the little, but consistent things, we deliberately do in pursuit of our spouse’s heart, attention and happiness. Are you living like roommates? Do you feel neglected and abandoned? Are your real emotional needs unmet? How do you turn your marriage into a blissful haven; an experience you look forward to on a daily basis? Join the Relationship Catalysts as they address these question and more
