Today, we shall be talking about finding Mr./Mrs. Right. Often times, there are two main belief systems around this topic. On one hand, some people believe that it is not a good idea to have specific qualities in mind when looking for a spouse. They believe that God knows what they want, hence He would make it available. On the other hand, some people believe that you must have a long list of rigid items on your ‘menu’ which you would tick as you notice them. Well, we believe in moderation. It can be counterproductive to have a long list of items you are unwilling to compromise on, we have seen people stuck on ‘perpetual’ singlehood because they seem to have a shopping list that does not exist in any store.
It is better to categorize your items into non-negotiable and negotiable. For a lady, a man who has a ‘walk with God’ may be non-negotiable, while love for travelling may be negotiable. My wife had a list of items, such as, walk with God, humble, teachable spirit, visionary, romantic, singing ability and other things we may not mention here. When I walked into her life, she got many of these items, but not all, a good example is singing ability, lol. The closest I have gotten to it is coordinating the family choir?. Well, who knows? Probably, someday I would release a ‘single’, lol.
Talking about qualities to look out for, reconsider someone in whose presence you feel terrible; dumb; less of who you think you are; someone who thinks your ideas are worthless, either directly or indirectly, through his/her behaviour. Marriage is like a garden where seeds become fruit-bearing trees, the members must blossom. It is OK if your ideas are discussed for clarification and understanding, but when they are not even sought concerning important decisions that impact your future as well, you must reconsider.
He who finds a wife/husband must know what he/she wants and must be willing to play a role by improving him/herself because a good suitor/lady is also looking for a good spouse as well.
To be continued… Next week, we shall consider the question, should I give in to his request for sex to keep him?
Chidi & Victor Akunna
Romance & Relationship Catalysts
www.foundationforfamilyaffairs.org
Photo: everydayinterviewtips
