Our Approach to Money

Money is a touchy issue in a lot of homes. Statistics have shown that this is one of the issues couples mostly disagree on. A number of relationship and marriage books assert that many of the break ups in marriages globally can be traced to money issues. However, we have a different perspective to this. We believe that money itself is not the issue, but how couples relate with it in their marriage. We have observed that the real issues are often lack of trust, accountability and mutual agreement on who, what and how to disburse the family finance. We were at a gathering where someone talked about how her husband squandered their life savings, without her knowledge or permission and she was completely devastated.

In our marriage, we run joint accounting. This implies that we both have access to each other’s account and what determines how, who and where the money goes is our mutual agreement, especially on weighty expenses. Financial issues and mutual trust must go pari passu. Trust must be earned through your behaviour and competence, if your spouse is better at managing money, hand it over to him/her. Don’t allow personal interests, fear or your ego to cloud your judgment, the family wellbeing should be everyone’s vision. We must learn to manage our family’s finance like an estate which must appreciate in value, attend seminars together, learn how the financial system of the country you live in works. I remember when one of us broke this rule by carrying out a financial action without due consultation, emotions were expressed, apologies were made, but we took it further by taking advantage of it to consolidate our family’s financial policy. We have learnt that in marriage, disagreement or conflict must not be ‘wasted’, rather couples must take advantage of them to reinforce strong values, improve their intimacy and learn about themselves and each other.

Money itself is neither good nor bad, it only takes on the ideologies and character of the couples utilising it; use it to bring your family together by creating long lasting family bond.