I am a lady of 28years, working, leaving alone, from Nigeria. I am in love with a divorced man that has 3kids. He hasn’t proposed yet, he keeps saying eventually. His family accepts me and wants us to be together.
I have prayed and all I get is “hold on, wait”. I don’t understand if I should wait for him or someone else, or move on entirely. Advice me.
Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books.
They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe.
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14 Commentson "My fiance has 3 kids, but I still love him!!!"
My dear,first of all,you have to know why he is divorced;this will go a long way to determine if he is worth you!if you indeed heard a ‘wait’ from God,why not ask why,for who or how long?marriage is more than a game of chance my dear!
My dear, let me talk to you like a sister. Wait means wait on God. You’re worth more than a divorcee. Divorce is not the end of marriage, death is. Marriage is for life and you deserve to be happy till you die. Don’t marry second hand, you need chassis. Your single handsome youngman wwill soon show up for marriage, so wait. But you must disconnect from the divorcee. Concentrate on God, at 28 you’re not too old for marriage, you’re just ripe for it. Please don’t marry a divorcee, what happensIif he reconciles with the wife? ?What will you do? Second wife is not an option, you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Be wise.
My Dearest Sister, I congratulate you for the grace and mercy God has shown to You by Speaking to You! Many Singles inquired of the Lord concerning their to be partners before getting married to them and I can boldly tell You that Most of these people don’t get this rare and true response from the Lord and are suffering for it simply because they made their decisions without waiting for God to speak clearly.
God has made it clear to You by asking You to wait and it could be for two reasons, to make you see clearly what You are going into or to position you well before you go into the marriage with this man!
I advise You to be extra patient and be Sensitive more about what Your decisions could cause. Never rush into a marriage that God isn’t involved in because I can assure you, he won’t show mercy in time when the regrets, tears and sorrows starts!
And most of all, this man you are talking about should be the one making much more efforts in this whole issue but it sure looks like you are the one who’s desperate!
I pray that the Lord will open your eyes and make you see life beyond just being in love instead of living a life of purpose as God wishes for You if only You will obey his voice.
Na wa oo. If at 28 u r so much in a hurry to get stock wit a divorcee after the word wait that means you could marry anybody’s husband oo either divorced or not. Abbi beko?hmmm fine yopung girl love dey for body u dnt knw is serious affairs. If u love life u must plan it well. Really dnt get me wrong dat iyts nt gud to marry a divorce but whr u need the head use it and where u need the Legs use them. Lobatan
A lot of good advice here. The point is you need to do a good research on why he divorced his wife even after 3 children! That tells me he can divorce you too after one child or 5!
However, the word of God even warns us against marrying divorcees as long as their ex is still alive!
Asides, are you ready @28, to take up the responsibilities of 3 children before even having yours as a single lady that has never married?
Even as I type this (i just hope you get to read this), I sense that the hold on means you should be patient for your own God ordained husband to show up!
You deserve a beautiful life, please don’t complicate it with a man who has not only tasted marriage, but also eaten it well already with 3 kids to show. Wow!
Hmm @ Bukola, practical pieces of advice, “wait for your God ordained husband”, ” do a research on why he divorced his wife even after three children”. Research shows that the probability of individuals divorcing doubles after their first one.
Weldone mr victor. But if ds scenario is true, then the lady doesn’t need any advice. She heard “wait”, so what advice does she still need?
Advice, at times, is looking for a way to justify our neglect of the obvious.
Wait dear. Since you’re a woman of prayer, God must have some better plans in stock.
Wait. It won’t be long.
Hmmm “advice, at times, is looking for a way to justify our neglect of the obvious” deep words.
My dear,first of all,you have to know why he is divorced;this will go a long way to determine if he is worth you!if you indeed heard a ‘wait’ from God,why not ask why,for who or how long?marriage is more than a game of chance my dear!
Nice one @ Mim “marriage is more than a game of chance”
My dear, let me talk to you like a sister. Wait means wait on God. You’re worth more than a divorcee. Divorce is not the end of marriage, death is. Marriage is for life and you deserve to be happy till you die. Don’t marry second hand, you need chassis. Your single handsome youngman wwill soon show up for marriage, so wait. But you must disconnect from the divorcee. Concentrate on God, at 28 you’re not too old for marriage, you’re just ripe for it. Please don’t marry a divorcee, what happensIif he reconciles with the wife? ?What will you do? Second wife is not an option, you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Be wise.
Hmmmmmm @ ijefyne “What of if he reconciles with the wife?” That’s a smart question to ask.
She should please listen to the voice n wait. Marriage is not to b rushed in, moreso its a lifetym commitment.
Nice one @ Hannah David, “Marriage is a lifetime commitment”. It must not be rushed into.
My Dearest Sister, I congratulate you for the grace and mercy God has shown to You by Speaking to You! Many Singles inquired of the Lord concerning their to be partners before getting married to them and I can boldly tell You that Most of these people don’t get this rare and true response from the Lord and are suffering for it simply because they made their decisions without waiting for God to speak clearly.
God has made it clear to You by asking You to wait and it could be for two reasons, to make you see clearly what You are going into or to position you well before you go into the marriage with this man!
I advise You to be extra patient and be Sensitive more about what Your decisions could cause. Never rush into a marriage that God isn’t involved in because I can assure you, he won’t show mercy in time when the regrets, tears and sorrows starts!
And most of all, this man you are talking about should be the one making much more efforts in this whole issue but it sure looks like you are the one who’s desperate!
I pray that the Lord will open your eyes and make you see life beyond just being in love instead of living a life of purpose as God wishes for You if only You will obey his voice.
It’s true that the man should make a lot more effort. Men are designed to chase and not to be chased.
Na wa oo. If at 28 u r so much in a hurry to get stock wit a divorcee after the word wait that means you could marry anybody’s husband oo either divorced or not. Abbi beko?hmmm fine yopung girl love dey for body u dnt knw is serious affairs. If u love life u must plan it well. Really dnt get me wrong dat iyts nt gud to marry a divorce but whr u need the head use it and where u need the Legs use them. Lobatan
Lol @ Olori
A lot of good advice here. The point is you need to do a good research on why he divorced his wife even after 3 children! That tells me he can divorce you too after one child or 5!
However, the word of God even warns us against marrying divorcees as long as their ex is still alive!
Asides, are you ready @28, to take up the responsibilities of 3 children before even having yours as a single lady that has never married?
Even as I type this (i just hope you get to read this), I sense that the hold on means you should be patient for your own God ordained husband to show up!
You deserve a beautiful life, please don’t complicate it with a man who has not only tasted marriage, but also eaten it well already with 3 kids to show. Wow!
Hmm @ Bukola, practical pieces of advice, “wait for your God ordained husband”, ” do a research on why he divorced his wife even after three children”. Research shows that the probability of individuals divorcing doubles after their first one.