Married but lonely by Chidi & Victor Akunna

Love is sweet! It is a great experience to be cherished; to be valued, not just for the things you can do, but for who you are – a human being.

When people love, they want to spend time together, support each other and explore what makes the other happy or sad. They want to laugh with each other and enjoy each other’s company because they love the way it makes them feel.

Then comes the great law of diminishing returns. We won’t bore you with the technical and economic side of things. In simple English, the law of diminishing returns in relationship means that what used to bring your spouse laughter no longer does. It is often like when a joke has been told many times to the same person.

The point is familiarity leads to boring marriages.

A boring marriage is when a couple live very predictable lives, without date nights, retreats, holidays, or any other activity that refreshes their passion for each other.

The worse part is when every attempt by one of the couple is met with direct or subtle resistance by his/her spouse, it can be frustrating to have your best effort thrown in your face. And especially more frustrating to be married, but lonely!

Couples must work together to meet each other’s needs. If your spouse wants outdoor activities, don’t label him/her wasteful, and if he/she wants you to view the football match of the day, don’t whine and complain, rather find a middle point.

Love is about sacrifice!

“Marriage is brutal on selfish people” – Jimmy Evans.

Don’t get stuck in what you want, be generous by looking out for and meeting each other’s needs.

“Prevention is better than cure!”

Chidi & Victor Akunna
Foundation for Family Affairs

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About the Author

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Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books. They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe. Feel free to enjoy the resources available here!

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