Laying the foundation of your marital romance

Optimized-Singles_03Aug12Choosing who to marry is one of the most important life-changing decisions we make. It is a decision that must be made consciously, unsentimentally and with a long term perspective. Putting yourself under pressure because of your parents’ demands, “my friends are all married syndrome” or “I am not getting younger mindset” is to set yourself up for heartache.

Marrying Consciously: Many singles don’t even know who they are. Do you know your strengths, weaknesses, purpose, and personal values? Sometimes, people get married because the individual was recommended by their pastor, a friend or he/she was simply available, only to discover that they have nothing in common. Self-awareness and self-acceptance must precede getting married because successful marital romance must be built on lasting principles.

Marrying Unsentimentally: Some people get married because the individual is from their hometown, tribe, or church. In as much as certain important foundations, such as being of the same faith, must be adhered to, beyond this, I think getting married based on tribal or regional sentiments can be limiting. Marriage is for destiny, and like a wise man once said, don’t be sentimental when making decisions about your destiny.

Marrying with a long term perspective: I have seen people who got married based on where they were at the time. Hence, when God started promoting them, they suddenly realised that their spouse was unwilling to grow or make adjustments. Are you getting married because he has a good job today or because he has a vision? Are you marrying her just because of her looks or her mental prowess and integrity?

Chidi & Victor Akunna
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About the Author

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Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books. They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe. Feel free to enjoy the resources available here!

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