Intimacy Code 101: Building Memories Together 2
In working with couples, we have discovered that one of the reasons people cheat is because they could not manage the boredom in their marriage. They grew to resent the fact that their marriage was painfully predictable; no adventures, no ‘crazy’ sex, no trips, no new friends, etc.. In one of our online courses, Romance Busters, we stated how and why routine kills romance and intimacy in marriage and what you can do about it.
Just before we share another way we build the right memories, we would reiterate why doing it is important. Take some time to x-ray where and with whom you choose to spend most of your time with and ask yourself, why do I keep coming here or spending time with this person? Generally speaking, people gravitate towards places and people they experience the most pleasure (pleasant memories).
Intimacy code 101: Building Memories 1
Talking about pleasure, we would like to show you how to use text messages to build the right memories. However, this only works if there is no unresolved conflict (if there is, it can trigger suspicion 🙂 )
Two ways you can use your text messages to build great memories.
1. Get flirty: You can send flirty messages to your spouse during the day, while he/she is at work. You know what would get his/her attention and heart pumping. Doing this can rave up your intimacy engines beyond your imagination. Become teenagers again, after all, age is just a number.
NB: We recommend you use a special code that cannot be easily decoded by a third-party. Some text messages can also be deleted immediately if your phone is not passworded.
2. Gratitude: Research has proven that women respond to words and men respond to admiration. To use this knowledge, use text messages to communicate how grateful you are to have your spouse in your life. Celebrate each other’s strengths.
NB: This works best when we focus on a specific trait or act. For instance, I am grateful that I have a husband/wife who believes in me. I mean, the way you defended me before your family, even before you heard my side of the story, blew my mind.
We can go on and on, but we would like you to know that building great memories together is essential to romance and intimacy.
If you need help with your own marriage (100% confidential), contact us: info@foundationforfamilyaffairs.org
Chidi and Victor Akunna
Romance and Intimacy Catalysts
www.foundationforfamilyaffairs.org
…raising romantic and intimate couples across the globe!
Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. They are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books.
They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe!
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