My husband and I were childhood friends. We went to the same schools, studied similar courses and graduated the same year.Although,I have had bigger career successes than he has, landing higher paying jobs. Lately, I observed that whenever I discuss my plans to pursue bigger dreams, enrol for courses or apply for better jobs, he often discourages me, telling me why it won’t work, why I should be content with where I am. I can’t take this any more.
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4 Commentson "Help! My Husband is a Stumbling block."
I can’t take this anymore? I don’t think this is just about career. I understand that it is damaging to a man’s ego if his woman is higher than him; we want our women to look up to us.
But really we don’t mind women getting to the peak in their career. Our fears are usually will she have time for me and the kids? Will she still respect me? Won’t she put her career over family?
If you have been found wanting in these areas and many more, your husband will be afraid to let you go up because he will think that you will get worse.
I want you to examine yourself. You are saying you can’t take this anymore, what if your husband has had enough of you too. If you value your relationship, sit down with your husband, understand him and don’t go ahead until he understands you.
This is not a battle, it is a test. You cannot win it by fighting, it takes wisdom, understanding and patience.
@ It is a key observation you made…”I don’t think its just about career”. There may be more to it than her job, she can have a heart talk with him and try to find out what the rel issues are. Effective problem solving is a product of sound diagnosis.
This is usually a regular statement from a career woman occupied with office activities, board meetings, other engagements that he is not. I believed our women should understand the men’s frustration when they are not on the same pace with you.
Ego is one thing for a man that needs to be consistently oil by a woman if you want your hubby love, that’s the place of submission for a woman. I know if we ask our sister whether she has been submissive to this man, she will say yes. it is normal, but i feel you should review your submission again. Part of submission is making him see reasons you need to move on and seeing the reasons he asked you to hold on; you never can tell he might saving your head. another thing is to help him with his career as well, maybe he will get charged and encourage again.
I know men’s ego sometimes makes them petty, but that will not stop them from overlooking kindness, love and a clear ssubmission.
Go back to the first time you got married, try to remember those things that spark up your relationship and introduced it again, gradually without mentioning the topic of career switch, for sometimes and later try to understand the reasons for restricting you or know his fears, then try to address it.
Nice comment @ Olalekan, “go back to the first time you married, try to remember those things that spark up relationship and introduce them again”. Sometimes the real issues in marriage are often fundamental not what most people thing they are.
My husband and I were childhood friends. We went to the same schools, studied similar courses and graduated the same year.Although,I have had bigger career successes than he has, landing higher paying jobs. Lately, I observed that whenever I discuss my plans to pursue bigger dreams, enrol for courses or apply for better jobs, he often discourages me, telling me why it won’t work, why I should be content with where I am. I can’t take this any more.
I can’t take this anymore? I don’t think this is just about career. I understand that it is damaging to a man’s ego if his woman is higher than him; we want our women to look up to us.
But really we don’t mind women getting to the peak in their career. Our fears are usually will she have time for me and the kids? Will she still respect me? Won’t she put her career over family?
If you have been found wanting in these areas and many more, your husband will be afraid to let you go up because he will think that you will get worse.
I want you to examine yourself. You are saying you can’t take this anymore, what if your husband has had enough of you too. If you value your relationship, sit down with your husband, understand him and don’t go ahead until he understands you.
This is not a battle, it is a test. You cannot win it by fighting, it takes wisdom, understanding and patience.
@ It is a key observation you made…”I don’t think its just about career”. There may be more to it than her job, she can have a heart talk with him and try to find out what the rel issues are. Effective problem solving is a product of sound diagnosis.
This is usually a regular statement from a career woman occupied with office activities, board meetings, other engagements that he is not. I believed our women should understand the men’s frustration when they are not on the same pace with you.
Ego is one thing for a man that needs to be consistently oil by a woman if you want your hubby love, that’s the place of submission for a woman. I know if we ask our sister whether she has been submissive to this man, she will say yes. it is normal, but i feel you should review your submission again. Part of submission is making him see reasons you need to move on and seeing the reasons he asked you to hold on; you never can tell he might saving your head. another thing is to help him with his career as well, maybe he will get charged and encourage again.
I know men’s ego sometimes makes them petty, but that will not stop them from overlooking kindness, love and a clear ssubmission.
Go back to the first time you got married, try to remember those things that spark up your relationship and introduced it again, gradually without mentioning the topic of career switch, for sometimes and later try to understand the reasons for restricting you or know his fears, then try to address it.
Nice comment @ Olalekan, “go back to the first time you married, try to remember those things that spark up relationship and introduce them again”. Sometimes the real issues in marriage are often fundamental not what most people thing they are.