As couples work together to achieve different objectives, trying to make ends meet, they are bound to disagree on many issues. This is understandable, but what makes the difference is how the disagreement is handled.
Victor: Share with us, how you have been able to maintain the bond between you and your spouse?
Robert: Thank you for the opportunity. As a little boy, I saw my parents constantly argue about every little thing. It seemed like there was constantly a power tussle, both of them trying to win at the expense of the other person. However, when I got married I decided to do things differently.
Victor: When you say “I decided to do things differently”, what is your wife’s stance?
Roberts: Wow, my wife is extremely supportive. What I meant was that, I knew I had a big issue to sort out, having been raised in a conflict-ridden environment. Hence, my wife and I laid down some ground rules that guide us when we disagree on any issue; we leave no room for resentment, shouting or name-calling, every issue has to be talked through. This has been tough for me because I have had to learn new skills and new ways of thinking and responding during disagreement, but the commitment is paying off.
ACTION POINT: Set up ground rules for conflict management and resolution. Leaving things to chance creates room for chaos.
Chidi & Victor Akunna
Romance and Relationship Catalysts
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