In the first part of this article, I discussed some factors responsible for emotional disconnection between spouses. Another factor that may be responsible is unmet expectations.
Of course, it is good to have expectations when going into a relationship, but do not overwhelm your spouse with your expectations. Putting so much burden on your spouse could make him/her snap. A spouse could withdraw, in a bid to avoid undue expectations, or as a way of dealing with the burden of meeting up. On the other hand, the other spouse may withdraw, feeling bad that their expectations are not being met or that their spouse is taking them for granted. Review the expectations you have of your spouse and see if they may be affecting your marriage. If you feel overwhelmed by the expectations your spouse has of you, discuss them with him/her, do not just retreat and allow a gulf between you.
Comparison is another factor that could drive a gap between you and your spouse. Comparing your spouse to someone else simply means that you think they are not good enough. You need them to be like that person, in order to be loved. Now, there is nothing wrong with pointing out something you appreciate in someone, which you think may be of help to your spouse, but presentation is important. When you point out whatever it is as though you need your spouse to change and become like that before qualifying for your love, then there is a problem. You may end up pushing your spouse away from you.
Emotional intimacy is very necessary, if your marriage must thrive. Emotional intimacy is that level of connection spouses have when they share their inner thoughts, fears and excitement freely, without reservation. There is trust between them and deep communication is sought. Couples must try to get to the point of being emotionally intimate with each other. Discuss how you feel over anything, trust each other absolutely and love unconditionally.
You can still have the marriage of your dreams.
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