Before you say “I DO”
Sometimes, when people plan to buy a car, they often put many things into consideration. For instance, anyone buying his/her first car would probably consider the average maintenance cost, the renewal of regular documents, the availability of relevant replacement parts, the fuel consumption level, the general demand for the brand, etc.. This suggests counting the cost before making a commitment.
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Unfortunately, very few people make this type of analysis before saying ” I DO” and tying the knot. We often forget that marriage begins with a proposal; a proposal for a lifetime partnership. This is partly because most cultures hype the emotions and sentiments around this life-changing institution, sometimes, focusing more on the ceremonies, sexual liberty, raising children, etc. This may sound extreme, but sometimes, it appears that suppliers of honeymoon spots, hotels, rental companies, decorators, clothiers, ring sellers, makeup artists, landlords, etc., seem to profit more from people’s weddings than the couples getting married.
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Commitment is an important pillar in marriage, but do you know who you are committing to? How does he/she speak when he/she is angry? Does he/she have a steady walk with God? Is he/she in debt? What do you have to offer this person? Who makes up his/her inner circle of friends? Does he/she have authority figures in his/her life?
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ACTION POINT: Probe beyond the surface. Do not allow religious innuendos and mannerisms blind your eyes.
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Chidi & Victor Akunna
Romance and Intimacy Catalysts
Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. We are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books such as Spicy Romance, Dynamic of Marriage, Bedroom Makeover Plus and Health and Wealth Acceleration,
They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe.
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