The natural tendency for humans is to be ‘selfish’; well, to watch out for our best interests. Psychologists tell us that it is our innate way of self-preservation. However, we have come to observe that singles, engaged and married couples who want to build intimacy and deeper friendship with their fiances, fiancees, or spouses, must consciously work against this natural leaning.
We spent a lot of time talking about this and putting in place a joint decision-making process during courtship. I mean, after living as a bachelor/spinster, calling the shots in ‘my life’, running my own business, etc., we wanted to make our cleaving experience a wonderful one. As a matter of fact, we prioritise regular communication because it is a bridge for connecting our hearts.
Looking back today, we are happy we did. Decision-making seemed slow at the time, I mean, there were days we kept going back and forth on major decisions. However, one thing we have learnt in marriage is that sometimes, the process is more important than the outcome. The process played a major role in helping us build intimacy and deeper level of friendship.
True communication is more than words. We communicate by being patient, even when we have the right to act; focusing on building our marital friendship, rather than winning an argument; watching out for each other’s best interests, rather than being selfish.
It is the subtle information we communicate that determines whether our relationships and marriages become the model of true friendship to our inner circle.
Chidi & Victor Akunna
Romance & Intimacy Catalysts
Foundation for Family Affairs
Chidi & Victor Akunna are leading voices on marital romance and family life. We are passionate about helping individuals, couples and organisations build sustainable and valuable relationships, and testimonials abound. They are authors of many articles and books such as Spicy Romance, Dynamic of Marriage, Bedroom Makeover Plus and Health and Wealth Acceleration,They partner in the administration of “Romance Masterclass” – a coaching programme and “Lite the FIRE” workshop – a couples’ romance makeover intervention. Together, they write “Connected Hearts” – a leading daily devotional on spicing up marital romance and strengthening families. They also oversee the operations of Foundation for Family Affairs – a charity focused on strengthening families around the globe.
Facebook Comments
